Huzzah!

Quotes! I love Quotes!

"When I turned myself over to God, I took my life out of the hands of an idiot."

I don't know who said it, but it rocks!

"My mind is out to get me."

"Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years."
--Tallulah Bankhead

"I believe in the sun even though it is slow in rising. I believe in you without realizing. I believe in rain though there are no clouds in the sky. I believe in truth even though people lie. I believe in peace though sometimes I am violent. I believe in God even though he is silent."
--Unknown

Yay! Wasn't that exciting...

Sorry... I was looking for stuff on Ernest Hemingway, and I got sucked into one of the those quote pages. I love quote pages. I wish I didn't always try to spell quote wrong though...

Well... I am as bored out of my mind as ever. HeY YOU! YOU WHO IS READING THIS!!! TALK TO ME...

Yeah... well, mostly bored because I am doing a langauge test thingie. FUN EH?

Well, Chau

TADA!

Huzzah!

So, I guess the clowning went well. No thanks to me however... I seem to have a mental blockage when it comes to clowning. I can be funny and stuff, but I can't plan it very well it seems. I mean I did what we planned to do, but other than that I feel useless, which is fun you know. YEAH! USELESS!

Chau

Oh!

Hey, I got my hair cut! Like 3 inches off. Making it a whopping 2 to 3 inches long. Exciting hey! It was for e-night. I had an extreme makeover. They even put in highlights. Most people really like it. I think its ok. They cut off my side burns, well... most of them at least. Now they are just above my ears, instead of like an inch below.

So... Right now I am searching for stuff on slapstick. Which has like no resources. Its great. I need to have a routine and chrachter by tomorrow. Yeah! Thats rocks... I have been working on it some, but I am far from being complete. My charcter is gonna be a used car sales men type. A straight man if you will. I hope it works well. I just don't know.

Chau

So yeah.

Today I wrote a bunch of plot line. but it didn't get posted... yippe!

Bookality

So... Hmmm...

Its always hard to decide on names for charachters. I really haven't decided yet.

Jotting the Plot:

I think I would like to start with exactly what was happening before the "end" of the world. Probably looking at politcs and army policy. It will probably be an alternate type history. Kinda. Maybe I will set a huge conspiricy, of sorts, into the begining. With some unsaid orginazation achieving rule, than having a fallout among the most powerfull members. Thus, they get each other nuked. Maybe not that simple, but something like that. Yeah...

Than I would go onto the main charachter, and I would explain how he was a soldier, until he killed some other soldiers, on accident. He will have gotten kicked out for this, and have to be exiled...

Symbols and Images. ..

rides here... gotta go...

I will come back to this again later.

Chau!

About that Novel

Hmmm... I have already thought of a some plot and stuff, but I am always really under motivated to actually start writting anything because I am not a good writer. I enjoy it, but I enjoy just thinking about it more, maybe.

I got a cool comment on my xanga. LoL, my xanga account is just so I can comment on other xangas.

well, besides feeling emotionally drained, I suppose I am doing just fine. As usually. *edit* Thats right! As usually *edit*

My cats lip was bleeding today. She is getting really old. I suppose she will be dying soon... I say this because she is sitting here watching my bowl of hamburger helper, hoping I will give her some. And of course I will.

Hehe... I forgot I am already writting a book. This blog is all part of storybook. My journal/diary thingie. I would like to give it to one of my kids some day. Then they can laugh at me, and my retarted life.

Yeah... Exciting....

Chau

Yay for failure!

So, my computer hates me. And not just a mild dislike, seriously it hates me. It doesn't work at all again. I give up. Its never going to work. Its dead set against working.

So, today I was thinking about writting a book. Or well, a novel really. About a post- apocalypse world, with some story having to do with this and that in the age after the apocalypse. I haven't decided if the world was supposed to end now or the near future, or in the distant future. Hard to say. Easiest to write it in the near future but far enough away that some fantastic things could be in the novel.

yeah
gotta go
chau

HAHAHA! Victoroius once again!

So, I go and look at my cpu fan right? And I am all like... Theres gotta be something wrong here, right? So I poke around a little, check all my connections and... What do I see? I see that my fan connection is plugged into a "special" Fan connector. So I am like, Well, obviously my huge fan needs more than your puny fan connector, so I hook it up to a normal one, and now my fan is running at 3500+ rpms. So... Yeah...

Although, the heat seems to still be kinda high... It seems to have topped out at 34 celcius, or ummm... 93.20 Fahrenheit. Not bad, but not really good. But THANK GOD either way! At least its working again! I love it when I have a sudden insight on a problem. That is so God and not me.

Chau

Yay For the all powerful wallet vortex!

My Computer that is. I need to get some silver based thermal paste to put on the die. It had some from before but it appears to need to be reaplied. It might even be that whats on there is now insulating it. Yay!

So! Off to the local Computer Renaissance to get some silver based thermal paste. Its only a buck fifty. But still... Oh well, I could have it up and running by the end of today. Yeah...

Wait... My fan is only running at 1650 rpms, and it should run at 1900-3500 rpms... Hmmm... Thats troubling. Something must be wrong with it. Dun Dun Dun!!!

I guess I will just have to look at it. Figure it out...

Chau

Heil Mien Fuher Miny-Chad!

Heil Mein Fuhrer, Miny-Chad! (The Great Words Of Matt And Phil)

Hey Yo!

I gots my mobo today! So I should be able to put it together some day... Hopefully soon. Yeah... Hopefully it will work too...

Yeah... I need to write reports and stuff... Hmmm... I am so late on some of that stuff...

I haven't really talked with anyone lately... Hmmm... I think maybe the less I talk the less likely I am to talk... Its kinda strange, but in a way it makes sense. Me being an introvert and all. Hehe... People think I talk, but if we're talking about things that won't make any realy impact on my life or the lives around me, than it doesn't really matter to me. Or something like that. I can't always explain what my heart wants to say. I suppose thats why ideas like love and such are very enticing to me. But then again, I am really stupid, so it could just be that.

Ok, I just wrote a big thingie at Christinas Xanga, so I am tired, and its 2 in the morning,

SOOOO!!!!

Chau

So!

Today I am again having fun computer problems. I am almost constantly having them,but thats the joy of being a computer geek, I can fix them myself. But this one is just boggling me. My usb mouse and keyboard are cutting out. They do it like once a day. And then a little box pops up in my system tray saying my usb device has malfunctioned and that I should click there for help in fixing it. I love that. Because it goes away as soon as my mouse works again.

Thats the best...

Hey! I ordered my mobo! It will be here on the 23rd. Hopefully.

Chau

Whatsit?

So... In my ever increasing parnoia and insanity I stopped posting... Temporarily...

I really should get a template that has titles. Its really annoying not to.

So, were are almost done making maple syrup. Only like 40 gallons or so left to boil down...

I kinda want to see Van Helsing. But I haven't seen a rating yet. If its rated R I won't see it. Or If it gets really bad reviews. It "looks" cool. But that doesn't mean much these days. Neither does ratings from reputable sites I guess. I saw Hell Boy the other day, because... Ummm... what site was it... I don't know, the christian one for movies. Whichever one that is. Any ways they said it was worth seeing. But it wasn't. It was pretty lame. Even by my cheesy movie rating system. Yeah.

Well, hopefully someday I could dream to be married, but here, today at 17. I cannot. I am not sure how that came up... Oh well...

Just listening to "Binary" By Brave Saint Saturn and doing a test... Fun FUN!

hmmm... I really shouldn't post on people comment boards. When I post on them, I know that I am not writting my best. Even if it sounds ok, it still shouldn't post. I guess thats me though, Always doing what I shouldn't and never doing what I should. It seems many people suffer from that problem.

Man... Sometimes it seems like I can hardly wait until I can really think about getting married. I want to do that. I want to be able to plan it out. But I can't. Not yet. Some day. No day soon, but some day. Well... Thats enough of that. "Tomorrow Is just a day away..."

Yup... I am in a strange mood even for me. But I gotta go do all sorts of stuff. I hope I don't die...

Chau!

Haven't posted in a while. I got my Gerbils. I think I am gonna cal them Dos and Unix. Unless anyone else has a better name for them. My cousin Matt says I should call them Pinky and the Brain, because they are albino. Yeah.

Thats my exciting life, and I don't have anything else to say right now.

Chau

Yay!

Yippe! I am getting Gerbils. I am pretty sure I want what is called Shaw's Jird. Which isn't actually gerbil, but a Jird. But thats what most people would say they are. I guess... I am not quiet sure what the difference is. Its gonna be fun having them though. Because I want to get some tubing and make a it so they can *go* far in my room. I will also probably give them a ton of card board fort action. Yep Yep.

Hey, theres a party at Kaylns house tomorrow. That should be fun. I guess... Yeah!

Well, there is no one on to talk to me, and its late. SO bed time!

Chau

Hey Hey!

Hey Hey!

Well, just sitting here, thinking about putting a computer in the paper. I just saw an ad for a computer slightly better than mine and they wanted 250 dollars for it. Errr... Well, better than the computer I want to sell. I recently had mobo troubles, so I need to sell that box for money to get a new mobo. Yeah. Its ok though, that box was getting old, so I might as well sell it while I can still get money for it. Good box though.

Just listening to Brave Saint Saturn. I really need to get some of my other music back. Like M0rtal. They rock.

"Your beautiful but not beneath your skin." Part of the chorus for Enamel, by Brave Saint Saturn.

I really love BSS's "Titan". It rocks.

I just was reading that Britney Spears was just born again. It was kinda creepy though, because I read it in the Enquirer. But I have it from a friend that actually met her in an elavator the other day, and they asked her, and she said that it is true. I hope its right.

I was just at Five Irons message board, which is really not cool. Its suprising to go to a Christian web site, and see the Lords name used in vain more often than at secular pages. You would think that there would be some sort of filter.

My thoughts on swearing. Ok, I have just recently had it argued to me that its ok to swear, for whatever reason. They said as long as you use the word right, its ok. Of course I totally disagree with that. Jesus wasn't all into swearing and cursing and stuff. And tell me what you gain by swearing? Nothing! Seriously, it makes you look like a fool. Besides, self control is part of being a Christian. If you really think you need somehthing in this life, than you really don't. Try it. Like food. Thats what fasting is about. *edit* (Not that fasting is just not eating. Its not letting your self do something that you really want to do, and instead of doing it, you pray. Well, thats still a pretty simple answer.)

yeah

the end

Chau

Just Sittin' Here...

Not much going down right now...

Just sitting and thinking about my future. And about what could happen in it. Just don't know yet.

So... What is beauty? What really defines it? Most people will often define it with a physical tangible thing. They will say, oh, she is beautiful, or he is or that landscape or that picture. But what really makes those things beautiful? I would say that most "beautiful" women, are actually not so at all. Mostly those type of women aren't beautiful, far from it actually. Its hard to say why. They just aren't trully beautiful, think of them more as an imitation. Or a forgery. Or something like that. Maybe its because they aren't complete. At least, they don't usually seem to have "real" personalities. Of course I have had very little to do with "beautiful" women.____________________ Yeah. Musn't forget the landscape. Pictures can be beautiful, but just a glimpse. It is so much more beautiful to be there, to see it yourself. To live through it. To have the memories. To be able to bring it to mind. Again, I would say pictures are incomplete._________________ I would say beauty is partly something that is whole. Something that is perfect. Or that it has flaws that only make it seem more complete, more realized. (If that makes sense) Yeah...

Sometimes I wish the girls around me would see how beautiful they are, sure they have flaws, sure they might not be the most "beautiful" looking. But they have hope. The keep trying. They haven't given up. They have passion. And so, truly they are beautiful. Yeah. Thats how it went down.

I really should stop writting down what I think. It seems to be getting more and more... ummm... IDk strange? personal? Whatever... I just don't have time to care anymore.

Yeah.

Chau

Testing.. Testing 1 2 3...

Changed it again

Hmmm.... I think that I like this template better than the last one. Got it from BlogSKins and its made by MayDesigns again.

Still got fun box, kinda. And my other box of boredom, which took like 2 minutes of looking and fiddiling to do.

My Dad just brought home another canoe. Always gotta have one more canoe. Just one more...

So, I got a nice little comment from Raken, but I guess I lost my comments in the move. So I will just have to keep my eyes peeled for his blog. Wait! I just did some cool stuff with mozilla and found it. Here it be! Rakens Page

At least I think he called himself Raken...

So, I went to the site where he hosts his picture for his page, and somehow the sites index was unprotected. Maybe its not supposed to be, but its interesting to look through other peoples pictures. Lots of drawings. Oddly I saw some of rakens comics there, but only the ones with Wilson in it. IDK...

Well, I gotta get back to school work. I got like 2 more lessons, and then maybe I will post something more. I am probably addicted. But no more so then Story Book. Story Book is a .txt I always wrote in, but my cousin has it now. He has like 5 or 6 gigs of stuff off my old computer. Lots of pictures and stuff.

Chau

And DON"T POKE SMOT... its ok to poke charlie though...

Hello Bloggity!

So I got a real nice e-mail from Tawnya. She talked about going to summit, and how her friend Ruth met her fiance there two years ago. Neat eh? And she said we should get together sometime, which we should. Yup.

"Watch his eyes flicker slow like the batteries are dying" -BSS

Just read some of this blog Its pretty good.

"Under twenty thousand tons of brick and stone..."

I love that song. Brave Saint Saturn always makes me think. About all the things. Always makes me feel passionate about all the things going on in my life. Some how it stirs me up inside. It makes me feel like changing this world.

This world needs an awakening. It needs someone to come and say, HEY! Open your eyes! Look at whats around, and look at whats on the horizon. Look at what could be, look at what you could have. And look at what your missing. Some how it seems to me, that the world around me is deep asleep, and is having a nightmare that its just not waking up from. Yeah. Just crazy out there, and everyone says its normal. Just a plain old everyday day when you see the bodies piling up in the streets. And everyone out there is dulling the pain with sex, drugs and alchol. They say, "Oh, it really is ok, nothings really that bad" Because you know, whats a couple of lives. The world would have you think that, as long as there alive, they are just fine. But if someone dies in a war, OH NO! Suddenly its the end of the world. People have been whining about Iraq, but they don't care about people who die from drugs or alachol. Or kids die from poverty. You might say that it doesn't happen here in the US, but would it matter if it were a different country? You would have to think some how that the value of american lives is great than anywhere else.

Well, I think thats enough of my rantings. I just pray this world wakes up soon.

Chau 0_0

"Christmas presents on the day she died"

This song rocks

Under twenty thousand tons of brick and stone,
She carries all the weight of her own world,
But somewhere deep inside,
Beneath the cartilage and bone,
Beats the battered heart of one little girl alone.
She is sweet, like sugar,
But she is bitter like the broken sugar pot.
Dad says that she could be anything she wants to be,
She only sees what she is not.

Chorus
Disbeliever, underachiever,
Disconcerted with the way things look from here,
Disinclined and disinterested,
Nothing in your world seems clear.
Disbeliever, underachiever,
Don't you shed another tear,
Little Sister, broken heart resistor,
It's not like that over here.

With the Blanket of Security,
And the mighty force of her own will,
Treading water in her pink pajamas,
She is treading water still.
Hopelessly hopeless,
and she is swimming,
further into the sea.
Thinking she's substandard,
While all the while,
She is beautiful to me.

She is strong and silent,
She is blunt and shrewd,
She thinks that nobody loves her,
If she only knew,
How much we all have missed her,
We are praying for you, my little sister.

This always reminds me of my brother, and the passing of my generation.

I read Zephenaih. Its a sad book. Its all about cutting the Jews off from the land. How all the wicked peeps will die. And stuff. read it. It makes one think about how God could just get sick of it, and get rid of us. I know he won't do it.

More lyrics

No one told me it was going to rain today,
I turn my face down from the sky,
Something broke inside my heart today,
Christmas presents on the day she died.
Crippled dreams are never mentioned,
Broken things that never heal,
Mother said for me to give it time,
Tonight I cannot help but cry,
February twenty-nine.

Chorus
In a world of dying children,
Rain never seems to cease,
I will hope for things unseen now,
One day my heart will be at peace.
I said I loved her and she knew it,
Whispered softly to the sky tonight,
She is warm and safe in Heaven,
In the loving arms of Jesus Christ.

There is a place that we call heaven,
A place where children never cry,
where you are never cold or hungry,
a place where you cannot go blind.
I turn my face up to the sky now,
I wipe the tears from my eyes,
Thank you God she lives forever,
February twenty-nine.

I am so Glad! So Glad that there is a place called heaven! That one day, I won't have to mourn the terrors of this world, that one day things will be better. One day things will be perfect. Until then, I am here, and while I am here, I pray that The Lord will give me the insight and knowledge and compassion to see that this world is a little better. That the people living here can see the light, and know the truth. Man, do I feel like getting pentecostal up in here.

Thats a weird way of putting that.

Chau

"Chaos"

Ugghhh... I haven't been sleeping enough lately, I can tell. I am feeling a little edgy, and second guessing my every thought. I suppose I am just feeling a little stressed. I really need to come up with some clowning ideas. Like really really.

I should stop thinking about CJ, but we have been together to much lately. I give myself a week before my head is back in order. Just need a little air. Or something like that. I guess... I guess life has really just been getting to me lately. Sometimes it bothers me to be here on this earth. To have to see so much sorrow and pain. With children dieing every day, and people living their lives strung out on crack. With parents who abuse their kids and gangs who kill eachother. I just have a hard time knowing its out their. Knowing that people are obviously dieing, and no one will stop to help them. And when they die from this earth, they will go to eternal torment. That as they live unfufilling lives here on earth, they are setting themselves up for permanent seperation from God. It hurts, and it bleeds. But it shouldn't have to. It shouldn't have to be this way. Not at all.

I may whine about my petty little life here, but I do know that there are those with such bigger problems. People who don't see the light of day, just the dark of night. People who don't know what hope there is for them out there. Just see whats sucking their life down the drain. Those are the people that I want to help, those are the people I want to save. Christ has so much more for their lives. If only they could see. If only they could hear him calling them. One day... One day they will hear, if it kills me. And that is beauty, the bleak. When things are worst, that glimmer of hope is the sweetest of all things. When you are in the shadow, and you realize that it is caused by something bright and beautiful on the other side. So you get up and walk around whats blocking the son and see! That my friends is the best.

Yup Yup!

Well, thats enough of my random thoughts for today!