30.3.04

I saw a Pine Martin today

They are kinda like minks, and their faces look kinda like a small dogs. And they make an annoying yapping sound.

I decided today that it would be really cool if there was some proggy that took what i wrote on my pda and when i synced with the computer posted it on blogger.

Yessup

Today I talked to a Girl about C.J.

I was really suprised by her reaction, she was suprised that I had loved her so long and just bore it instead of doing anything with it. Of course circumstances for awhile have dictated what I could do and what I could not do. But, my focus has been the same time all along, get somewhere where I can forget about her, before I do something stupid, like screw up her life.

C.J. is the most ironic thing in my life.

What she has done:

Once she pretended to date me. Once she jokingly said that we should go to a known make out spot. She often calls me "hun" and says she loves me.

She is funny though, she explained very thourghly that it was plattonic kind of love. She makes me laugh.

Her personality really stress' me out though, because she does the one thing that no one else does, she treats me like a child. However, I love her spirit so much, it more than makes up for any flaws I think I see. Love really is blind.

Well, I have talked about this more than I have in a long time, and as ever I will keep her in my prayers. May God Bless her sleep tonight.

Chau

P.S. You can comment on things you know... just hit the word "comment" Please! :-D

Posty

Pain Of Remembrance

Sometimes I remember things from what seems like forever ago. And it hurts. It hurts because I know what I have done since then. I know where I failed. I know where life was bleak.

Sometimes it seems I will never change, my body will age, but my heart and soul will stay the same. It seems this way because my motivations are still the same. Even when I say I am changing, and I am succeding, I am some how failing.

Sometime yesterday is forever ago.

Death wil come soon, but never soon enough.

AND SOMETIMES I AM JUST CRAZY!

Even if I am falling down, I am already on my way back up. I can't stay down for long, because if I do, won't I forget how to soar. How to fly up high. Gods grace can over come any failure, and the memory doesn't have to haunt you, Christ will help you with it!

Chau


29.3.04

Daily Palm, views & rants updated multiple times a day

Grrr!

My Keyboard for my PDA no longer likes my PDA! As I recently got my old PDA replaced by the exact model, I thought that there wouldn't be an problem at all, but instead of being able to type on it when I connect it to my pda, my pda just wants to hotsync.

yeah, more about this later, chau.

28.3.04

I got a Picture phone and my Pda Back!

Sweet Diggity!

So, I got a picture phone, so I can take all sorts of pictures now!

And since I got my PDA back, I can blog like a mad man, because I have a keyboard for it.
Whats up Peeps?

So, I've decided that I really don't like to talk in front of others. Not because I'm scared to talk. But I'm scared what I might say in my passion. Like today, I was supposed to talk about some specific thing, but instead I hit a rabbit trail right away. Its not that what I did talk on was bad, it was just that since I only talk about for 5 minutes, I would like to say what I really want to say.

Luckily though I talked on being consitent, on being realiably. About persevering. About having hope for the next time.

But still, there are many things I would love to say, and sometimes I fear I will say things I don't mean. Like one half of a whole story, you may say truth, but it might not be the bit you wanted to say.

Yeah.

If God is for me, who can stand against me?

25.3.04

Huzzah!

Does emboldening something more than once change it?
Heart still beats inside
Blood runs through her vains
A remenant of life remains
Heart still beats inside

I think sometimes that we forget that everyone his human. Even the grossly unpopular fiends like saddam. Or Hitler.

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely...

There are plenty of people just as bad as Hitler, they just don't have as much power...

Well.. yeah... those are my musings.
Things to-do:

* Learn Latin and Greek a little...
* Learn to sing...
* Get some gerbils
* Make my own server farm...
* Learn to write in a different langauge...
* Read 100 history books.
* Memorize 100 verses in a year...
* Move away from home.
* Write a book of poetry
* Learn to spell
* Take up a sport
* Become a photographer, for fun...
* Never get fired from a job.
* Learn C++, and code a small game...
* Get a SNES and play through good old mario again
* Write a song.
* Become more charitable.
* Write a book on modern virtue.
* Aspire to be something.
* Teach
* Save at least one mans physical life.
* Gel my hair to look like an anime charachter, just once.
* Get MS-Works so I can have a spell checker.
* Put Linux on at least 1 box.
* Go on a road trip through the U.S.
* Fall out of love...
* Express myself in unique way.
* Quite my day job.
* Get a T1 Line.
* Read the Works of WatchMan Nee
* Read the Works of Freud
* Read the Works of Jung
* Read the Works of Socrates
* Read the Works of ShakeSpeare
* Read a book a week.
* Don't watch television for a year.
* Write more than I read.
* Do the impossible.
* Learn about physical science.
* Understand Biology
* Do my own chemistry experiment
* Learn to weld
* Become better at wood working and at leather working.
* Become a crack shot (No, not a crack pot.)
* Write my own math formula.
* Get a deadly disease and recover from it.
* Never get dumped.
* Learn A trade.
* Get a mullet.
* Dress nice, instead of a punk.
* Get some muscles. No not the food.
* Graduate from highschool.
* Graduate from College.
* Get an A+ certificate.
* Run my own website.
* Subscribe to blogger.
* Do all the vidoe stuff that I've talked about.
* Write a better list.
* Write a book on conquering the world. (E-Book would be the best bet.)
* Stop to smell real roses.
* Not date until I'm married.
* Paint a work of art.
* Be in an action movie.
* Become a theologist.
* Die.

24.3.04

My Generation

My generation is getting so weak. We bleed. We die in the streets. There is little to stop it now. My goverment calls it a liberty. Secularism calls it a must. Religions try to blend in or turn a blind eye.

We are getting eaten alive out there. The media is destroying the world. It slays people daily, with its skewed ideas, set to their agenda of "fixing" whats not wrong. Trying to make my people more "open minded" when really what they do is close they're minds to the truth. Cementing in lies, that they wouldn't escape. They say that being gay is a right. They say that killing babies is truth. They say that promiscuity is expected of everyone. They say that my God, my father is wrong. They say he is nothing more than a fable, that he didn't make this earth, didn't die to save man.

I say they are wrong! They are liars! They are so lost... and I can't wait to go out there and help them find their way. But its there choice, and but they would just choose God. That they would see the light. There is so much for them. They're is so much waiting for them.

My God loves them, and is waiting for them to come home.

Yeah...

Lets just give up...

somedays I just don't wanna live. Just don't wanna be here. Because today again, I failed. I lost and theres no way to make up for it. I can't undo what I did. I can't take it back.

I'm not made for this world, I'm made for a place that is far beyond this one. I wish that I could just leave and go there. But not yet. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not until that day comes. Put me 12 feet down, I don't wanna come back.

I got both of BS2's cds. They are good. I read mere christianity by C.S. Lewis. Good book, interesting theology. I am now reading a book by Watchman Nee. He put out 125 books before being martyred. Lucky guy, he is dead...

I decided I want some gerbils, but my father says no, my mother says I will get some though. I figure, eh, it will happen or it won't. Not a big deal, no matter how much I want them.

How many children do you think die a day? one hundred? a thousand? one hundred thousand? a million?

33,000 children die from poverty daily!


"The children who die and could be saved are almost 100% poor and of
those who survive, we must ask why 500,000 are left blind every year
for lack of a simple vitamin which costs less than a pack of
cigarettes per year? Why are 200 million children under five years
of age undernourished? Why are there 250 million children and
adolescents working? Why do 110 million not attend primary school
and 275 million fail to attend secondary school? Why do two million
girls become prostitutes each year? Why in this world -- which
already produces almost 30 trillion dollars worth of goods and
services per year -- do one billion 300 million human beings live in
absolute poverty, receiving less than a dollar a day -- when there
are those who receive more than a million dollars a day? Why do 800
million lack the most basic health services? Why is it that of the
50 million people who die each year in the world, whether adults or
children, 17 million -- that is approximately 50,000 per day -- die
of infectious diseases which could almost all be cured -- or, even
better, be prevented -- at a cost which is sometimes no more than one
dollar per person?"


Here is theSource!

yeah yeah yeah... I know its a huge qoute...

But, things like that are dumb.

Just gotta buck up. Gotta weather the storm. Wait it out. In heaven, children don't cry. They don't hunger. They don't die.
If I could I would do so much for those kids. They deserve a chance. God has so much more for them than death. So much more than death. He would have them be teachers and preachers, evangelists, healers, theologists. He would have them proclaim his name throughout there nations. He would give them hope and joy, life that they have never known. They would have so much much more!

And if God and I have anything to say about it, they will.

Yup...

So Chau

12.3.04

Mann....

Huzzah!

I gots no peeps

This doesn't show up...

I don't have any Titles do I?

I just noticed that, its not that I don't write them to be posted, but they just don't show up... Shucks, and I so loved this May*Star productions design. I guess I will have to save fun box and look for I new template.

I just watched possible one of the worst things I have every seen. Its Sci-Fi' Mad Mad House. Which I believe is based on the wrong premises for a reality show. Basically, your stuck in a house with a bunch of people who live alternative life styles. And every one of those life styles I disagree with, however, that doesn't even strike me as wrong, its that these Alts. as they call themselves, are trying to change the contestents. Which is really just creepy, because they talk about being accepting, but really they're not, because they just want to be accepted, but they can't accept those who can't accept them. Thats what I call conditional love. Its based upon the thought pattern that, if you do this, I will be this. Its suprising to something like that, you'd think people would be more real, but I guess maybe thats a lot to ask from this world....

Sad isn't it? That the world could be this messed up. I guess you really don't meet a lot of real people these days. Most people are just about having "fun" or trying to fit in. Its really funny, because being a punker is "in" now. But I guess most people just don't get that either.

I am listening to Benjamin Gate. I really like this newer band called Brave Saint Saturn. A lot of the people in it are from this other band called Five Iron Frenzy. That band rocked, but BSS rocks even more. Its "Astro Rock".

Here is a Brave Saint Saturn Interview, by Jesus Freak Hideout. That site is pretty sweet!

I was just reading this message board about why people are omnivorious because someone said that naturally people are herbivours (kan't thpel). I thought that it was very interesting, but I also thought, for having strong moral values, being a vegan is just wrong. You start by trying to save the animals? "Oh I don't eat meat, its unkind to animals...: (sterotipical I know, sorry... But if your not like this, I have nothing against you [not that I have anything against these people]... Its just I know there are people like this out there.) But, if your so compassionate about animals, something that in the long run doesn't really matter (No Souls) HOW CAN YOU STAND IT! There I children dying ever day, in africa, in asia, in america, ALL OVER! But most people care more about animals, then the people that live in misery, that die sad and alone, that won't ever know true unconditional love.

But seriously peeps, all you out there, that I disagree with, I love ya. And Gods got something special for ya! Lifes more that what we see with these human eyes. It can't be explained away by science, and it can't be written off as "weird" theres more to life than all this. If this were life, I would have killed myself a long time ago. No point to living a pointless life. Luckily, my life has meaning, I serve the one true God, the only thing that can make life worth living. Theres no pain that can't be healed. And my God is the only healer. He deserves all praise for putting us peeps on this earth.

Have a different perspective? Leave a NICE message on my commenting stuffix.

Chau Peeps

10.3.04

well...

I wouldn't call any of those true haikus... Fun to pretend though!

quick haiku

Huzzah!
------------------------------

Teh Haiku, hates you
Teh haiku is not for you
Teh Haiku, kills you

------------------------------

9.3.04

Lame Haiku...

Beautiful Rose
------------------------------

A rose has petals
What beauty can you see in them
Petals fall from the sky

------------------------------

A haiku for you...

Epic Hero
------------------------------

The wind blowing swift
Epic Hero Travels on
Carrying his dream far

------------------------------

Ugghhh... How come I only blog when I should be doing something else? Like sleeping... I'm not even certain that the syl. count was right... I couldn't decide... Yeah... I should be in bed...

7.3.04

Today was teh day...

Huzzah!

I saw Hidalgo today, that new movie where Viggo is the main character, and it was good! There was no swearing and no "love scenes". It rocked. Cool fight scenes, decent plot and best of all, it was unique.

I think I might sell the Emachines, for a hundred dollars, and buy a new mobo with it. That would rock. Yeah, maybe maybe....

I have been thinking about that girl recently, and I might even endevour to become more friendly to her. More friendly, but not friends I think. I have a hard time trusting that I could be friends with her. Just because... when your friends, things could get more complicated...

6.3.04

Back from Mens Advance!

Huzzah!

Ok! Mens advance just plain Rocked! We had great speakers and a phenomenal time.

I was just at the strangest site, the writer tried to portray it as Gods personal website, but I don't think God jokes about being peoples saviour. You don't take all the sins of the world upon yourself and joke about it. It was a very serious and loving thing he did, not a joke. Yeah, I really wish I could spend some time just fellowshipping with that man.

Well, I'm off to go do something... Anything... Hey! Post a comment, if your ever at my site...

5.3.04

Sweet!

Huzzah!

Im reading about how to find the Estimated Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow...

Does that rock or what?

And the answer is!

"Although a definitive answer would of course require further measurements, published species-wide averages of wing length and body mass, initial Strouhal estimates based on those averages and cross-species comparisons, the Lund wind tunnel study of birds flying at a range of speeds, and revised Strouhal numbers based on that study all lead me to estimate that the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour."

I gained this valuable knowledge from Style

That rocked...

Imma go stumble around...

4.3.04

GoodQuotes.com - Funny and Inspirational Quotes

GoodQuotes.com - Funny and Inspirational Quotes: "Message printed on an eraser: 'Mr. Friendly Quality Eraser. Mr. Friendly Arrived!! He always stay near you, and steals in your mind to lead you to a good situation.'. On the bottom of the eraser is a further message: 'We are ecologically minded. This package will self-destruct in Mother Earth.'"

This rocks! Just stumbled upon it!

Just stumbling around...

Huzzah!

Go To Worth 1000.com that site rocks! I'm not any good with photoshoppe, so Its a joy to look at the amazing skillage of others.

Go To Cm Radio.net its a rockin' awesome internet radio site. They have both highspeed and modem connections! And you can request songs, which you get to listen to in like 10 minutes, which rocks! I listen to the Edge, which is like hardcore, hard rock and punk rock. Or something like that. But they have almost every kind of music to listen to!

I love it when I do this! I start writting, get busy doing something else, and come back hours later and forget where I was going with what I was writting!

3.3.04

Stuffix

Huzzah!

I wrote some storybook yesterday, thinking about posting it... But I probably won't becasue it was three whole pages written at 1 am. Maybe though... Its the kinda thing I would do. But wot I want to do, and what I end up doing are often decided by my time constraints.

Just one more day, just one more dawn, just one more dusk. Just one more step, just one more foot foreward. Can't lie down now, I've gone too far. I haven't gone far enough. Just one more encounter, just one more battle. Just one more war, just one more fight. Just gotta hold my pain 'til the silence of the night. Just 'til tonight.

Yeah?

I don't know about that...

Well, chau peeps, 'till tonight...

2.3.04

Got the crazies

Huzzah!

Maybe I will write some of my nutzings in the form of poetry.

I gotta go to bed. Boy do I wish I had my PDA still... Then I could type up my crazies whenever I had them. Shoulda got a metal case for it.

Chau