Yeah...

Lets just give up...

somedays I just don't wanna live. Just don't wanna be here. Because today again, I failed. I lost and theres no way to make up for it. I can't undo what I did. I can't take it back.

I'm not made for this world, I'm made for a place that is far beyond this one. I wish that I could just leave and go there. But not yet. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not until that day comes. Put me 12 feet down, I don't wanna come back.

I got both of BS2's cds. They are good. I read mere christianity by C.S. Lewis. Good book, interesting theology. I am now reading a book by Watchman Nee. He put out 125 books before being martyred. Lucky guy, he is dead...

I decided I want some gerbils, but my father says no, my mother says I will get some though. I figure, eh, it will happen or it won't. Not a big deal, no matter how much I want them.

How many children do you think die a day? one hundred? a thousand? one hundred thousand? a million?

33,000 children die from poverty daily!


"The children who die and could be saved are almost 100% poor and of
those who survive, we must ask why 500,000 are left blind every year
for lack of a simple vitamin which costs less than a pack of
cigarettes per year? Why are 200 million children under five years
of age undernourished? Why are there 250 million children and
adolescents working? Why do 110 million not attend primary school
and 275 million fail to attend secondary school? Why do two million
girls become prostitutes each year? Why in this world -- which
already produces almost 30 trillion dollars worth of goods and
services per year -- do one billion 300 million human beings live in
absolute poverty, receiving less than a dollar a day -- when there
are those who receive more than a million dollars a day? Why do 800
million lack the most basic health services? Why is it that of the
50 million people who die each year in the world, whether adults or
children, 17 million -- that is approximately 50,000 per day -- die
of infectious diseases which could almost all be cured -- or, even
better, be prevented -- at a cost which is sometimes no more than one
dollar per person?"

Here is theSource!

yeah yeah yeah... I know its a huge qoute...

But, things like that are dumb.

Just gotta buck up. Gotta weather the storm. Wait it out. In heaven, children don't cry. They don't hunger. They don't die.
If I could I would do so much for those kids. They deserve a chance. God has so much more for them than death. So much more than death. He would have them be teachers and preachers, evangelists, healers, theologists. He would have them proclaim his name throughout there nations. He would give them hope and joy, life that they have never known. They would have so much much more!

And if God and I have anything to say about it, they will.

Yup...

So Chau