Hey all...


I guess I haven't been up to much lately... Some of the hibbing kids were up on wednesday, and then again on friday, which was cool... Always nice to see friends from distant places.

Just haven't had much to say. Been real busy, and haven't posted much... hehe... Which I know is real disapointing for all of you. But then again, most of you have stopped posting for great lengths of time with out saying anything to anyone...

Yeah!

Chau

Hey Hey Kids!

"And your mother tried to show me all the lazer crabs..."

Thats my quote for the day. I figure Christina might even know where its from. Oh, wait, I can't help but talk about where its from... Its from "Strong Bad sings and other type hits!" Hahahahaha that CD rocks. Right now I am listening to "The Cheat is not dead" which is a southern gospel type song, which rocks... BUT NOT AS MUCH AS BUTT ROCK!

I'm moving very slowly... moving very slowly... slowerly slowerly slowerly...

:-D LimoZine rocks!

Funny though, that I don't find most of HomeStarRunner.com funny... Just a couple of bits...



Well, things have been pretty chill here lately, just not much happening I guess.

I beat all of D&D: Heros in just 3 days... Short game. A good game takes at least 40 hours. This must have taken only 15-20 hours. :-l

Chau!

Hmm...

I wrote a whole post, and it didn't show up...

Yay!

Especially because I wrote poetry down, and since lightening never strikes twice, I will never have back those words I wrote... haha, oh well, it wasn't any good anyways...

*sigh* Hmm... I should write a wish list. I wish I weren't so vain. I wish I weren't so shallow. I wish I spent more time in thought... Ughh... Again I am whinning pointlessly about things that don't trully matter. Haha, maybe if I were more perceptive I could gather better ways to whine. But for me, nope, not going to happen. Its late and I am sick, and for whatever reason I am being down on myself. I think its just the same old same old. I wish people didn't read this. At least then I could hide the fact that I am incompetent and an idiot and that my life is going nowhere. *sigh* Why do I even write such things? I know that what I am saying isn't true, but I guess thats just how I feel right now. haha... I think I just wrote down a depression that lasted 30 seconds... New record maybe... I should really go to bed...

I wish it would rain...

Chau

Giddy up Giddy up, Hey!

Greetings wanderer!

So... I wrote a really whinny post before, right? Right...

So for this post I hope to write the anti-whinny post. I don't know why I don't just take down the whinny post... But I am not going to. *shrugs*

I really don't have a good reason to whine though. I have so many awesome callings on my life, and so many great things happening in it.

And I was going to write about them, but that feels... idk... Self-righteous...

To sum up what I would be saying, is that God has awesome things planned for my life, and that I hope to be able to accomplish incredible things for him. And I just pray that his hand of guidance wouldn't leave my life.

Oh! I have an idea... If I just list them I won't feel guilty... I think...

Never mind... that just won't do either... I guess if anyone would want to know, they will just have to ask sometime. Its pretty cool, but I guess I feel that way because its part of my testimony.

Yeah!

Haha, sometimes I am amazed at how I can cheer up just because I need to. I should memorize a psalm about Joy... I don't know any off the top of my head, if anyone has any... Just post about it.

Oh, that reminds me, I finally have Isaiah 53:5 Memorized...

"And he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our inequities. And the punishment that brought us peace was upon him. And by his wounds we are healed."

Thats all I can write for now...

Chau

It goes blammo!

Hey...

Today it rained... I love the rain. Its my favorite weather.

We had carpet cleaning goons out to the house today... Which really bugged me. I don't know why, but waiting for somethings really gets to me... Like when some one is on the cell phone in the car, and they turn down the music so you can barely hear it... And then they proceed to talk and talk and talk about nothing important until you are like 5 mintues from the destination... It ruins the whole ride for me.

I am getting tired of the way things are going. I feel like I need a break. But there never will be one will there? No... Not for me. Thats just not how my life is supposed to work, I guess. Haha, there are moments that take me away from reality for a while, but its not really a break, because its just worse afterwords.

Eh, but who can complain?

Lately my mind has been a swirl of useless thoughts. Just searching for the answers to questions I am not supposed to know the answers to. Which can be depressing. But then again, to me, everything can be depressing. I tell ya, I am a manic depressive. Haha... of course based on the fact that I think I am going insane, I can count on that I am not.

Yeah...

Well... Enough of my whinning... Time to go and do... umm... something else... I guess...

eh... I am leaving myself a note here. 2nd corinth 4:8... I think thats the one.

Chau

Hello World

Hey...

Ughh... I have had no time to write lately... Which is really bad, because I have a bunch of things to write. Which is sickening. Why should I have so much to write? Or have to write so much? I just don't know anymore...

Yeah...

Chau!

Nadda...

Huzzah!

I am just having breakfest... Mmm... Lucky Charms...

I have been really busy lately. Which is good and all, but its making me impatient. Which isn't good. But I just have to grin and bear it for awhile. Things aren't bad, they're just... idk... up in the air right now. And I am just waiting for them to land again. Just have to be more patient than I can be...

Well... I gotta go build stuff...

Chau

Just another day in the life of...

Hi

I am angry! I just hit backspace and everything I just typed is gone!

So basically what I said was a that God is good, and I am glad that when I am weak he is strong.

I had a bunch of stuff written, but now I am tired, and I am not going to write it all back down.

Chau

Just stressing out...

Why don't I ever write Dear Journal?

I don't know...

Today I felt like I was having an anxiety attack. It was pretty fun... Wheee! Wish I could do that everyday. Just stressing myself out about things that I don't really need to stress out about. Had to ask Christ to let my spirit settle down. I was thinking of hundreds of questions that I don't know the answers to. And won't know the answers to for quit some time.

I am listening to the "Inspirations"! They're a gospel group from the.. 1940's? I don't know when really. But thats my guess. I like them, they are good.

I actually have a lot to talk about, but I am not going to say anything until I have my head screwed on better. Right now I don't know exactly what to say. Haha... Stupid brain, stops working when I need it... And then starts up again when I don't want it to.

Oh Well! Such is life.

Chau

Life can be so exciting!

Hey J00!

I think I say "kids" to much...

I am tired...

Today I read about Elijah and Elisha... Which was exciting. Prophets usually are.

My life has been exciting latley. So much going on. My brother is getting married in 2 weeks! My cousins will be up soon too. I have to finish all sorts of construnction on my house. I just got 4 rabits. I have a new kitty. I have gerbils to feed. Wow... I am the master, I have acquired 7 animals in less than 3 months...

Yeah... I am tired...

Well... I gotta scoot!

Chau

Hey Hey All!

I have been at Big Z's house for the last 2 nights so I haven't been posting... And other than that I have been very busy. Building. Building a sauna, 2 decks, walk ways. Moving dirt... And all the other normal chores.

I am tired. My body is growing very weary. My mind is running in auto pilot. My brain needs a rest. My spirit has been up and down lately. I want things to just stay good. *sigh*

yeah

Chau

It can be so hard...

*sigh*

Sometimes life can be so tough. So tough that you feel its not worth living. You just feel that it would be better to end this long suffering and just go on to what ever is next.

But it isn't worth it. Death never would be. God put us here on this earth to fulfill a purpose. And as long as we have yet to fulfill that purpose, he will sustain us. God is a good and perfect God, and he knows when we should die. We shouldn't go killing ourselves, because our deaths will come too soon without committing suicide.

I have thought much of committing suicide. But I never will. It is so alluring, but its reward is hollow. After death you can never again laugh or run or play or do any of the many things that makes this life worth living. Because committing suicide would send you to hell. Or at least I can't think of how you can have a right relationship with Christ and still commit suicide.

Yeah... Just gathering my thoughts for what is shaping up to be an eventful day tomorrow. I pray that Jesus will give me strength to deal with the on coming storm with wisdom and love. I hope at least some of what I have said here will prove useful to me tomorrow. I just hope I can provide the insight and encouragement for my friend that I wish too.

I am not unused to talking about such things though, which is sad. I have talked with people about... well... about horrible things, that I don't want to repeat here. I tried admirably then, and in someways succeeded to help. I hope at least this time they will know that I care. I guess that's one of my flaws, I always want to help. There is always some way to help. Even if its just by not helping... (does that make sense?) Umm... Well, by not helping, but by listening.


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Earlier someone was talking to me, and they thought I wouldn't want them to tell me their problems. Do I seem cruel and unjust? Am I the type of person who wouldn't have compassion for another person?

Certainly some people don't think so... Some people say that all they ever tell me is their problems... Which doesn't bother me a bit, in fact it makes me feel in some small way, useful.

Do you think that Jesus would have ever been, no I am too good to talk to you, or I am too self involved to care about what you have to say? I don't think so. I certainly am not.



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My cat is so crazy! It just pretended to claw my bicep and then claimed victory by licking it!

I have been real tired lately. Feeling really stressed out. Some people don't realize it, but they stress me out a ton. And not because they are diffacult people or anything, but just because of how much they subtlely ask of me. Not that I would want them to be asking any less. In fact I would ask the ask more of me. I wonder how far I can go before I break. I hope decently far. But then again...



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I keep getting the feeling like I am being set up. Like some one is doing a bunch of things to me on purpose. Almost as though they are trying to get to something, but by strange means. In some ways it seems very obvious, in other ways so obscure. I am sure the person doing these things doesn't fully realize what they are doing. But then again, I am sure God does.

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So how do you like my lazy mans formating system? That well... Eh?

Here is a cool song by Children 18:3... Real cool in fact. Because Lee Marie sings the whole song.

"Time stands still it moves faster than me- I know I've been here before- There and gone like a mist from the sea- Wasting time that we both can't afford- And your'e right here only so far away- Lets build a bridge between you and me- A point of connection that the whole world can see- We've been trapped in this dungeon by the powers that be- So let's build a bridge to be free- Stained glass sky and a kiss from the breeze- I know we've been through this before- Look at leaves as they fall from the trees- They don't care what new change is in store- And your right here but I'm so far away- Sick of the pressure, sick of the strain- Heard all the lies, seen too much pain- You won't believe the things I've heard- Take the first step, let me go- I'll take my share of the blame- If you feel the same then why not?"



I almost just pressed back! Which would have made this whole post dissapear! WHICH WOULD BE CRAZY PANTS!

Indeed.

Well its really late, and I have to be up early, and I need to go and pray for my peeps.

Chau!

Enter this day

I am tired.

Sonshine was good.

I saw...

• Supertones
• The Insyderz
• Philmore
• Children 18:3
• Disciple
• Spoken
• Joy Electric
• The Apologetix

...and more



*sigh* All my friends are starting a new part of their lives. In some ways I feel like they are leaving me behind. But I will be there all too soon. Much too soon. Big Z will still be in town, so we can still chill. But Manic Matt will be leaving for Masters commission. I am going to miss him.

Yeah. Speaking of friends. I haven't talked to some of my friends in a while. And sometimes I don't know if I want to talk to them again. But I know I should. Shouldn't just stop talking even if we are drifting apart. My friendships aren't like that. I have never left a friendship on a bad note. Not once. That makes me happy to think about. Not everyone can say that. Many people can not say that.

I am tired.

I will go to bed.

Post again tomorrow maybe.

Maybe not.

Chau

Interesting Kid

J00!

On sunday I worked in the nursery, as usual. I always work it that sunday of the month. And there was a rather unique boy there. He didn't talk much, he just watched mostly. He played, but noticablly less than the other children. He was shy, but his eyes weren't. You could tell when he watched you. A nervousness would suddenly seem to be in the air. An anticipation of sorts. Almost as though he was waiting for answers, answers to questions he never really asked. Questions like "What made you do it?" or "Will it always be this way?" and maybe even "Can that honestly be the truth?". Such an interesting boy. Such a chilling boy. Maybe it was just me, but his eyes seemed to be watching you even when he wasn't looking at you.

the things unsaid

some things go unsaid. never does the longing mouth whisper the words wished to be said. never.

never will it say i love you. never will it say i need you. never.

it will always pass over it, and creep around it. pretending it doesn't need to be said. its actions hoping to say what words so simply could.

and impatience and frustration set in, as the stressful silence passes slowly. and how it wishes it could speed the time, the time before they part. so it can send the pain away. to make themselves hide the secret pain within.

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that the rose my faulter, and wither its pettles away. to hide its heart underneath, so that no one will see it.

but to lift its fist from the mire, to push it high into the air. as though to say, in one last gasp, that maybe, just maybe.



I think that I should have finished writing after the line up there. I think that was good, and I ruined it with the next two unrelated lines. Maybe I will make those a different poem. Or well... Its not really a poem is it...

Chau!

New Boxxity

Hey Kidz!

My box broke the other day, so I had to buy a new one. Its a pretty nice one! So, thats what the lapse in posting was about, although I doubt that you noticed.

Chau!

About it all...

Hey Yo!

Hmmm... I just read an ad that said "summer fling or love everlasting?" That seems like a funny thing for an online dating service to say, because don't they just want to sell almost successful relationships? Because if you succeed and marry someone, won't you not need their services anymore? But I would suppose that they want you to think that you could find "love everlasting". Other wise why would you use their services?

I have a kittie! His name is Frank! I don't think he ever goes to the bathroom! He has really big ears!

I never posted about anything I planned on posting about! Isn't that exciting!

I have to go, so...

Chau!