Sometimes life can be so tough. So tough that you feel its not worth living. You just feel that it would be better to end this long suffering and just go on to what ever is next.
But it isn't worth it. Death never would be. God put us here on this earth to fulfill a purpose. And as long as we have yet to fulfill that purpose, he will sustain us. God is a good and perfect God, and he knows when we should die. We shouldn't go killing ourselves, because our deaths will come too soon without committing suicide.
I have thought much of committing suicide. But I never will. It is so alluring, but its reward is hollow. After death you can never again laugh or run or play or do any of the many things that makes this life worth living. Because committing suicide would send you to hell. Or at least I can't think of how you can have a right relationship with Christ and still commit suicide.
Yeah... Just gathering my thoughts for what is shaping up to be an eventful day tomorrow. I pray that Jesus will give me strength to deal with the on coming storm with wisdom and love. I hope at least some of what I have said here will prove useful to me tomorrow. I just hope I can provide the insight and encouragement for my friend that I wish too.
I am not unused to talking about such things though, which is sad. I have talked with people about... well... about horrible things, that I don't want to repeat here. I tried admirably then, and in someways succeeded to help. I hope at least this time they will know that I care. I guess that's one of my flaws, I always want to help. There is always some way to help. Even if its just by not helping... (does that make sense?) Umm... Well, by not helping, but by listening.
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Earlier someone was talking to me, and they thought I wouldn't want them to tell me their problems. Do I seem cruel and unjust? Am I the type of person who wouldn't have compassion for another person?
Certainly some people don't think so... Some people say that all they ever tell me is their problems... Which doesn't bother me a bit, in fact it makes me feel in some small way, useful.
Do you think that Jesus would have ever been, no I am too good to talk to you, or I am too self involved to care about what you have to say? I don't think so. I certainly am not.
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My cat is so crazy! It just pretended to claw my bicep and then claimed victory by licking it!
I have been real tired lately. Feeling really stressed out. Some people don't realize it, but they stress me out a ton. And not because they are diffacult people or anything, but just because of how much they subtlely ask of me. Not that I would want them to be asking any less. In fact I would ask the ask more of me. I wonder how far I can go before I break. I hope decently far. But then again...
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I keep getting the feeling like I am being set up. Like some one is doing a bunch of things to me on purpose. Almost as though they are trying to get to something, but by strange means. In some ways it seems very obvious, in other ways so obscure. I am sure the person doing these things doesn't fully realize what they are doing. But then again, I am sure God does.
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So how do you like my lazy mans formating system? That well... Eh?
Here is a cool song by Children 18:3... Real cool in fact. Because Lee Marie sings the whole song.
"Time stands still it moves faster than me- I know I've been here before- There and gone like a mist from the sea- Wasting time that we both can't afford- And your'e right here only so far away- Lets build a bridge between you and me- A point of connection that the whole world can see- We've been trapped in this dungeon by the powers that be- So let's build a bridge to be free- Stained glass sky and a kiss from the breeze- I know we've been through this before- Look at leaves as they fall from the trees- They don't care what new change is in store- And your right here but I'm so far away- Sick of the pressure, sick of the strain- Heard all the lies, seen too much pain- You won't believe the things I've heard- Take the first step, let me go- I'll take my share of the blame- If you feel the same then why not?"
I almost just pressed back! Which would have made this whole post dissapear! WHICH WOULD BE CRAZY PANTS!
Indeed.
Well its really late, and I have to be up early, and I need to go and pray for my peeps.
Chau!
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