Was for Christina...

Yo!

This post started as a reply to Christinas comment.



As far as saying stupid things... I seem to have a chronic problem with it. Because I can only go for like a month without saying something stupid. But I don't mean just normal foolish things, I mean extra foolish, like talking about how some girl wore my jacket. I mean, its not like it effects the grand scheme of things. And it a needless worry, that it "means" something. Because that is not how I would like to conduct my relationships.

I would rather that I got to be good friends with a girl, and then say make my intentions known, and then devolp our friend ship further. If we would go to the point of marriage, I do not know. I would hope so. But its all in Gods hands, not mine.

I do not think that I would like it if the Lady made it known to me that she loved me. I would have a talk with her, and we would see what we could sort out of it. And maybe I would even strive for such a thing, depending on who it was, and where we stood in our relationship. If I thought she was a sincere Christian gal, and I had Gods blessing to go ahead with it, I would pursue it. I guess... Yeah... IDK, in some ways, me being the timid man I am, I would rather that they did something first... But I know that the man really is supposed to wear the pants in the realationship, and thus it is my duty to do so. Yup Yup... I think I think...

IDK why I am talking about this...



And now for something completly different...

Today we had an AIM meeting. I had to give a testimony in two minutes. I did really bad, because I didn't have a very good ending, and I wasn't very specific. I never do very good at testimonies. Jena told me I sounded like I was doing a job interview. In Argentina, when I did my first testimony, I broke down crying afterwords, because something kept telling me that I hadn't done it well enough, so those kids were going to hell. Thats what I call spirtual attack. I have been under spiritual attack all week. I never come so quickly to this level of down, and only rarely can I go back so quickly, and then back down again. My sister and I argued in the car today, about who gets shotgun... It was my turn, but she was already in it. And then I didn't answer my mothers questioning about whats going on with school for about 10 minutes. We both just sat there.

The sky was marveiouls today! It was an aweing color of blue. Sky Blue I guess. All the clouds were blue too. At least in one part of the sky. In another it was purple, and close to the horizon it was still mostly white, but with bright reds and pinks. It was beautiful. Like God made it just for me, becuase he knows what I love. Oh! And there were some gray looking clouds, gray as though they were promising rain. Mmmm... Rain...

Yeah, those were lame thoughts from me.



I guess my sister has been reading my blog... Thats very disapointing... Because at least she could have asked, being as though it is my personal diary-ish thing-er.

It makes me want to go back to storybook. You can't ever be wrong if you argue with yourself. You can't ever be right if you argue with yourself. Storybook was a good book, full of raw emotion. Full of hopes and dreams, fears and sorrows. It was everything that I would never want another person to read. All the things that made me human I suppose. All the things that made me good, all the things that made me bad. It was the deepest part of my heart. It was the blood that I spilled, and the tears I shed. It was the happiness I hoped for, and the joy I so longed for. And when joy found, that too went into storybook.


Sorry... When you write about storybook, you must write like storybook. A little too repetative for my taste, but such my bane in storybook.

Yeah...

Chau!